Before we all jump to rash conclusions and brush this review off, it may be good to point out the the British Royal Family has always had a love-hate relationship with the press, which include the most dreadful paparazzi (or paps, as they are referred to in Prince Harry’s Spare). So with all the carefully selected sensationalized scenes lifted from the book that are broadcasted throughout for the world to read, with all the bad press and publicity linked to the promotion of the book, one may need to keep an open mind that these became fodder for tabloid news even if Harry may have invited that himself as he had pretty much declared his hatred for the press.
He is not alone; the royal family understands the value of good publicity, but also find themselves at odds over the fake stories concocted by any tabloid reporter wishing to make hundreds of thousands of pounds off them. Diana herself was the media favorite for her fashionable clothes and charitable works, yet she has often been seen to break down when members of the media would chase her down the street and try to get that one photograph that makes good tabloid money. Despite that, she also went and did her tell-all with tabloid journalist, Andrew Morton. This, however, does not excuse the sorry behavior of so-called journalists who are all too willing to sell their created works of fiction or push their narrative about their royal target for the week. They had lowered the dignity that journalists once had for reporting the facts and revealing the truths.
I read this book because I used to be a royalty-follower. By that, I knew the descendants from Queen Victoria’s line and I carefully monitored the line of succession with each birth of a new prince and the passing of an elderly duke. It was fascinating to take in that much history and many avid genealogists may share the same sentiment.
However, with the soap opera drama that came with the Diana-Charles-Camilla triangle and tampon-identifying crown prince, it became too much of a Real Housewives of Windsor than the Royal House of Mountbatten-Windsor.
The Grieving Son
Harry’s book Spare starts with his mother’s death and his and his family’s non-handling of the event. They never really talked about it; there was no therapy for him to deal with his grief; and he never even talked about it with the one who should have been his closest ally in all this, his own brother, William. Without this processing and closure, one can see why Harry’s rage with the paparazzi would be deep-seated and all-encompassing. Throughout the book, he never fails to blame the paps for many of the things he was deprived of in life–a mother, an active military career, girlfriends who can’t handle the constant hounding of the press, and something as mundane as taking trips to the neighborhood grocery store to stock up on kitchen essentials. His lack of privacy. Can’t really blame him on this. Even if people do say that he is a public persona and must be subjected to the press, where does one draw the line between public and private lives?
Fast forward to Megxit which would have been the perfect way to say, Okay, we’re stepping back from our royal duties now and spending half the time in a different country. And yet, they have been reluctant to let go of their royal titles. They wanted to be be half-in, half-out which really made them look like they wanted the privileges without doing the work.
Harry laments the loss of their security which he again, attributes to his fear that the press will get to his wife and children–that their safety will be compromised by them. Again, this harks back to the unresolved pain he had for the loss of his mother. So now, he has to foot the cost of security himself which could run up to the millions of pounds per year.
Many may say, Well, he does have money from Diana’s estate…. Yet this money is not released to him in bulk. But isn’t that part of living a private life? With a fixed income, we all have to make ends meet, and with the amount he gets from Diana’s trust, one must ask, Is a grand Montecito mansion really living within their means? Don’t forget the nanny, the security guard, their public relations team, their Archewell foundation staff, the fancy outfits they still need to wear when they need to keep up with appearances, etc., etc. Perhaps, it’s time to rethink if they are not attracting the negative attention themselves by their actions and decisions.
Unmentionables
Another sensationalized aspect of the book is of his frozen todger. In one of the many mentions of his nether regions. He claims, after a trip to the North Pole, that he thought about sharing the story with his father about his “tender penis” but decided against it. Well, perhaps he should have thought about not sharing this in his book as it was “TMI” and merely fanned the tabloid flames. The preoccupation with that part of the body was further discussed as he was still suffering from his “frostnipped” condition at his brother’s wedding: “What was the universe out to prove by taking my penis at the same moment it took my brother?” Why make this comparison at all? And let’s not forget that story of him using Elizabeth Arden cream “down there”–the same cream his own mother used on her lips. Why even go there? Whoever their editor was was not his friend and should have advised him to keep these things to himself. But then again, if the editor was out for sale-ability, scandals and distasteful stories like these may just be right up their alley.
Behind-the-Scenes Look
I did get through the book because it does offer some inside look into the dynamics of the royal family which we couldn’t necessarily glean from tabloid headlines. That Princess Eugenie would be one of those to welcome Meghan to the fold (which explains her visit to California to see Harry), that there is a rivalry for foundation money for their causes, and that one cause cannot outshine another so they also have to plan out their events in order to get maximum press coverage.
When Harry desperately wanted to talk to the Queen about something important, at first, the Queen said she was free all week. Then suddenly, she was not free anymore. The introduction of the Bee, the Fly, and the Wasp–courtiers who seem to have much control over the royals–seem to indicate that there’s a greater power behind the monarch. They cannot function without their approval, and their word seems to be the law of the land. Makes you wonder–who are these people who have so much control over other people. They certainly keep the business of running the royal family going, but they forget another key word in that phrase–family.
One other discouraging aspect of this “family” is how they play the press against each other. If to be believed, Harry claims that stories are “planted” in the press not so much to purposefully make the other look bad, but mainly to make the other look good. The evil stepmother picture comes to play as revelations seem to indicate that Harry had been thrown under the bus in order to gain his stepmother some favorable press. Not a good look.
The Royal Family, therefore, is not a family in the most traditional sense. With these goings-on behind the scenes, it makes you wonder; therefore, why would you even want to be a part of this dysfunctional household. Whereas Cressida Bonas and Chelsy Davy, both Harry’s serious past loves mentioned in his memoir, eschewed marrying into it, Meghan Markle didn’t seem to have second thoughts about taking the plunge. Was their marriage decision a little too hasty, were they just way too in love with each other, or were there other factors at play that has led to much speculation that maybe Meg isn’t what she makes herself out to be?
The book, despite the negative publicity it has received, is actually well-written (kudos to ghostwriter J.R. Moehringer). After all, he is not known as the “superstar ghostwriter” for nothing. However, the content is all Harry (and Meghan). With all of these unnecessary, personal details of his life, it almost comes across as ironic that he continues to complain about his loss of privacy and life at the hands of the media. Yes, there will be falsehoods and lies, but as his family has learned–sometimes, you have to play the game.
If you look past the distractions in the novel, at the heart of it is a young lad who never really got over the death of his mother, a boy who grew up without a mother’s love, and a teenager who grew up in a family that didn’t have the normal relations a typical family would have especially after suffering the loss of a beloved member. If he had seen a proper psychologist, he would have probably been told to write down his feelings and experiences, find a way to express his hurt and pent-up emotions–then burn it. Instead, he chose to publish it.
Featured image above (Pacific Press | Lightrocket | Getty Images)
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