Crying in H Mart–A Memoir

Michelle Zauner is popular in the indie music scene as the lead singer of Japanese Breakfast. My husband, who’s been trying to get me to listen to his indie music collection, was pumped that I was able to get ahold of her memoir entitled “Crying in H Mart” thinking that it would be a good segue for me to share in his musical tastes. Unfortunately, I didn’t quite make the transition. On another level, I connected with Zauner through her relationship with her mother which was her gateway to the Korean side of her. For many of us Asians living half-in and half-out of our Asian side, the best way to really immerse in the culture is through food. It is no wonder that many Asian authors highlight food in their memoirs and novels.

H Mart is an iconic chain of Korean grocery stores that dot many major suburban cities in America. I am not Korean but I enjoy walking along its clean and well-organized aisles, picking up a plastic container of stir-fried spicy anchovies in the cooler section, grabbing hami melons in the produce section, and snagging a pack of marinated bulgogi beef strips for a quick meal over steaming white rice. It is food that tickles my taste buds with its distinct Asian flavors. “Crying in H Mart” is a good book companion for anyone who wishes to learn more about Korean food.

The book is an ode to her mother. It highlights her mother’s presence and influence in her life. This presence was not so much in her mother’s soft touches or gentle cooings, but through their bonding over the food of their ancestors. Zauner recounts a time when she fell off a tree and instead of being covered in kisses and cuddles, she was scolded by her mother for climbing a tree in the first place. No matter what disappointments Zauner may have had over her mom’s parenting style, their bonding over Korean food was a strong foundation for their relationship.

The steaming bowls of soft tofu stew, sizzling galbi, and the many containers of kimchi sitting in her mom’s special refrigerator are part of her special memories of her mother. She keeps the memories alive by learning to make these same dishes that she grew up with. The book reads almost like a listing of the many popular Korean food offerings which any foodie will greatly appreciate. One can truly see how food is very much the bond she shared with her mother. Even when her mother was dealing with the effects of her chemotherapy, Zauner tried to emulate her mother by wanting to cook food that brought much comfort when she herself was sick as a little girl. However, the sight and smells of comfort food were not enough to save her mother.

In the end, she clung to her Korean heritage and, most importantly, memories of her mother, through cooking and consuming the food she grew up with. The book is also a way for the author to probably cope with the loss of her mother with whom she obviously had a very close relationship with. Her album called, Psychopomp (which means a spirit that escorts the departed to the netherworld), features songs that deal with her loss as well.

Whether you’ve lost a mother yourself or you’re a self-proclaimed foodie or an indie rock music fan, “Crying in H Mart” covers all these topics and more. It shows that no matter the circumstances, human beings are resilient and will find ways to cope–be it through food, music, or simply by honoring the ones we have lost in our own creative ways.